，豈不是手腳冰涼，心里又空空的，真可憐呢。電話里感覺(jué)外面很吵呢。”
女：“是啊。我在XXX路上走呢，可憐死了。考試沒(méi)考好，開(kāi)水瓶又被偷了，畢業(yè)論文還被老師罵說(shuō)寫(xiě)的一塌糊涂，寢室的同學(xué)還和我吵架。能不煩么！”
男：“那可真夠鬧心的。別擔(dān)心，凡事都有解決的辦法。”
女：“那你說(shuō)我現(xiàn)在該怎么辦啊。我好擔(dān)心呢。你來(lái)幫幫我吧。”
   到此為止。事情是不是開(kāi)始好轉(zhuǎn)了？例子是我杜撰的，但是有典型性。如果覺(jué)得不真實(shí)就請(qǐng)多多見(jiàn)諒了。重點(diǎn)在分析。你發(fā)現(xiàn)講話的技巧沒(méi)有。女方到這個(gè)時(shí)候，基本上心情已經(jīng)慢慢平復(fù)了。此時(shí)Empathic 的響應(yīng)任務(wù)告一段落?？梢赃M(jìn)行Autobiographic的響應(yīng)了。速度很快，是么？
   Empathic Listening的特點(diǎn)就是：
1）. Don't judge.
  Don't agree or disagree with what the other person is saying.
  e.g. That was really smart.
       I can't believe you did that.
       I totally agree with what you are saying.
2）. Don't probe.

  Don't ask questions to obtain information to meet your needs or curiosity.
  e.g. What happened?
       Tell me more.
       What did they say next?
3）. Don't advise.
  Don't recommend solutions and counsel based on your opinions and needs.
  e.g. The same thing happened to me. Here's what I recommend.
       Here's what I think.
       This is what I would do if I were you.

那么應(yīng)該怎么做呢？
1）. Reflect Feeling.
  Concentrate on and echo the way the person feels in your own words.
2）. Reflect Meaning.
  Restate accurately the content or subject matter of what the person is saying in your own word.
3）. Use Empathic Listening Starters.
  e.g. So if I am understanding you correctly, you are saying....
       What I'm hearing is...
       You seem...
       You must have felt...
       You feel (    )  about  (    )
   簡(jiǎn)單的說(shuō)，就是，在這個(gè)階段，在對(duì)方還不夠冷靜時(shí)，或者雙方有誤解時(shí)，或者雙方互不信任時(shí)，首先要進(jìn)行這個(gè)階段的溝通。你并不給出任何判斷，也不追問(wèn)為什么，也不給任何建